Today, my little Giuliana, aka Bean, turns one. Do you remember back when I started this blog, and it was her first months at home?!? Oh child, we have come a long way since then! As you might have read in my previous posts about her turning one, I was scared to face the ending of her first year. She is my first child, and all the “firsts” of a first year parent, will never come again. Next time around, they won’t be “firsts” anymore. And, I had hard time facing this.
Learning how to become a parent has so many mixed emotions. I mean, let’s be real about it. You have all sorts of emotions that run a muck through your head. One minute is bliss and joy, then next you want to run to the other side of the country to escape the endless whining and crying. Oh, and who can forget about the first time you changed a “blow-out”?!? Or, how about the time your child had their first shots? All of these things bring back so many emotions and memories.
The one thing you always want to remember in this first year, is that you are doing the best you can, and hopefully the right thing for child and for your family. You are going to mess up, you are going to be sleep deprived, and more importantly, you will question every decision you make from here on out. But, that is being a parent. That all comes with loving your child.
So, today on this one year birthday of my little girl, I have this letter to share with her ( and all of you of course).
I can’t believe an entire year has passed since you were born. We just put you to bed on the eve of your birthday, and I am in tears. Not crying because this is the night before your big birthday, but because I am so proud of you, and the little girl you are about to become.
A year ago today, I was prepping myself to make sure I grasped what was about to happen to my life in a few hours. You were late coming into this world, and wanted to make your debut on your own terms, of course you would, you are my child. We got to the hospital, and after many hours of non-cooperation from you my sweet girl, it was time for surgery.
I heard you cry for the very first time, and you took my breath away. I couldn’t hold you yet, but wanted to so badly. But, when I did, it was the most fabulous feeling in the world. You were my little person, something that had kicked away for months in my belly, and now you were here. All 8 lbs of you!
From the moment we got you home, sweetheart I say this nicely, you were extremely loud. You cried and cried for hours at a time, but we adjusted, and so did you. People might have laughed at for the schedule we had you on, but guess what, you thrived on it. You slept through night, ate like a champ,( seriously, I think you eat more than me) and you were one happy kiddo (most of the time). More importantly, and you need to hear this, you were independent and feisty. You had a personality that shined through at a very early stage, and I was already proud of you.
You made all your milestones, and we celebrated each one.
Your grandma and grandpa Mildren, celebrated your birthday every month with you by buying you something that made you smile.
You are my child, but you are definitely daddy’s little girl. You have made him a better person, a gentler person. He will teach you things that I probably can’t, like Math, learning how to budget, catch a softball, oh and that little thing called patience.
You have turned into the most busy and inquisitive child. Yes, you are the child at the library, who doesn’t listen at storytime. You want to explore, and see all the books, and tear them off the shelves.
You are quite the drama queen, and little diva at the same time (but again, you are my daughter).
I love how you stop when you hear music, and “shake your butt” as we say it!
I do miss how we used to have mommy and me time in the mornings when you were smaller, but now, you want to go back to sleep or play by yourself.
I love how you light up people’s lives. They see you, and smile. Especially Grandpa.
You never liked to cuddle, but you love to give all the big mouth kisses you can give to anyone!
I love that you love books, and read them out loud with your baby babble.
I love that even at this early age, I can already tell that you are going be a very opinionated, strong-willed woman, and that my dear, is perfectly fine.
I could go on and on about all the things that you have done this past year that made us laugh, cry, and even scare us half to death, but the bottom line is, I love you my little Bean. You bring so much joy to the smallest things, and everyday I love you more and more.
I pray that God gives you the most exciting journey in this lifetime, and gives you all the blessings that you deserve. Life will not always be easy, but we are here to guide you. You are going to be amazing my sweet girl. I hope you have the confidence, self-esteem, and strength to be who you want to be. The determination to live out your dreams, and most of all I hope that no matter where you go, or what you do, you will never be alone.
One year ago, I didn’t know that I could love something so much as I do you.
One year ago, I didn’t realize that our life would change so drastically, and we would actually come to love it.
Today you are my infant,and tomorrow my toddler.
Tomorrow we will be blessed, yes its your birthday, but we are the ones that are getting the gift.
So, cheers to you my sweet girl, and thank you for choosing us to be your parents. It is an honor that we thank God for everyday.
Love Mommy and Daddy
Author: Nicole Mildren
Nicole Mildren is the author of Champagne To Crayons, first time mom, and celebrates motherhood in the best way she knows how; by remembering she is just not a mom. Owning her own business, and Marketing Director of the Pittsburgh MomCon helps her stay sane in the world of motherhood.